Life On The Ward
by Writing-In-The-Works00
Summary: "Sometimes I think being dead would be better than being alive, they're dead. I should be dead. I shouldn't have survived but somehow I did." Katniss Everdeen has been in a fatal crash that puts her in the intensive care unit at hospital. However the doctors move her to the childrens ward where she meets a boy who can teach her love and live again (Short Summary full inside)
1. Chapter 1

**Just a short intro, if there is a trigger in a chapter I will mention it. In this there's character death and mention of suicide. I hope you all enjoy this fanfiction feed back is welcome just be nice about it. No hate. (Story will contain characters being slightly OOC due to events that take place! Hope you all like it. **

_**Life on the ward.**_

_**Chapter 1-Arrival.**_

In all my time at the hospital I learnt one thing: Cold mash is horrible. Then again mash was now a luxury most of my food it fed through a tube now, I guess I miss being able to taste but it's either that or starve to death. Sometimes I think being dead would be better than being alive, they're dead. I should be dead. I shouldn't have survived but somehow I did. I tried to save her but I failed, I held her in my arms while she took her last breath. Mother was in the front seat, she managed to stretch her hand around to mine, her grip loosened pretty quickly. I was fighting to keep my eyes open, I tried so hard but the pieces of metal on me made it difficult to breathe. A piece of metal lay across my legs, I was only small in frame and no one would be able to lift it. Prim had fallen out of her seat during the crash and a cut spread from her eye to her neck. It was clear she would not be alive when help came. She was coughing blood up and my own body was soaked in my own. When her pulse went everything went blurry, I faintly remember hearing her body being removed then my own being taken to the ambulance. I heard all their voices while they attached bandages to my body; I wish they left me to die. They had to cut me out of the car; it had set on fire just before causing burns. I remember being pushed through the hospital on a gurney while the doctors yelled at people to move. That's when it went black. I wish it stayed black.

When I woke they told me I was lucky I never broke my neck or spine, they were both just badly bruised. Talking was impossible, I had tubes leading into my mouth and nose, and wires entered my body keeping me alive. They said I was lucky, I never asked how or why I was lucky, my little sister just died in my arms. Daddy came in often, he felt guilty he wasn't there during the crash. Once the fluid in my wires ran out and I screamed because the pain wouldn't stop, they said I would need to be moved soon because the space was filling up quickly. They said they could take all the equipment to the children's ward, I didn't say anything I couldn't. Stupid tubes.

It was two weeks later when some of the major cuts had started to get better, I was running a fever but they kept me alive. I still wish they never. I slept most of the time, I couldn't control when I slept. They always injected me with something often which would cause me to become drowsy; they said the tube in my mouth would be removed soon. I was learning to breathe on my own again, Daddy said Grandpa Haymitch would take me for ice-cream once I was better, the next day the hospital the doctors removed the tube but told me I would be in the hospital for months, possibly years. They wanted to make sure I would be ok with movements they said I would forever be on and off crutches all my life. I didn't mind much. They said I would be able to do archery and sport. I guess that made my day slightly better, the other families and kids on the ward always stared at me I heard them call me the poor girl who is close to dying. The doctors told me on a daily basis I would not be dying. Didn't they understand I wanted to die? I spoke in short sentences to Dad and Grandpa Haymitch, it was hard to talk without it hurting to breathe, they cried sometimes. I did too.

It took two weeks of being on the ward for someone other than family to talk to me, her names Madge. She wasn't on the ward for anything she was visiting with her friend Peeta because his cousin fell down the stairs and damaged his neck. After Madge more people slowly started to talk to me, I'm grateful they never asked me why I'm like this. I've now been on the ward for five weeks; Peeta never spoke to me he only watched. I knew why, he went to my school. Madge did too but she was in different classes apparently people wished me well. I wasn't really popular while at school I had a group of friends who I loved still do love I wasn't exactly a loser either. Madge said as soon as I go back to school I will be popular; I don't want to be popular for this reason.

I noticed each day Peeta came closer to my bed but he quickly turned around. I have a surgery on Wednesday, everyone was wishing me luck.

It was now Tuesday evening, I had my surgery briefing, it was to have the bones fixed in my legs. They said it would take place for most of the day, I would leave my ward for it in the morning and return in the evening once again with the tube down my mouth. I never asked why but I knew I was getting ill again. I could tell I had a fever approaching. Everyday Dad came in he looked older; he had bags under his eyes and his hairs turning grey. Sometimes he slept beside my bed. Those nights we both got more sleep.

The day of my surgery my Dad seemed on edge, I asked him why he was panicking so much but he never answered he just said he worried about my health. While in the prep room they told me to count to ten and I would be asleep. I wish I stayed asleep.

Waking was painful, I was covered in a thin layer of sweat and my legs were propped up and covered, I was surprised to see Peeta Mellark sitting next to me asleep. I wish they would get rid of the wires in me so I could move my hand to nudge him awake to say thank you but I just settled to putting my hand over his. He never stirred but his face turned to me. He looked older than me, maybe eighteen years old while I was sixteen, his hair was blonde and curly and he had a stocky build. He was much taller than I. I was always petite in my frame. I noticed tear streaks on his cheeks I slowly raised my hand to wipe them away, his eyes fluttered open and his eyes bored into mine. I couldn't help but stare at them. They were a brilliant blue, I wondered if he wore contacts. I tapped his hand and he smiled up at me.

"I'll fix you."

His voice was soft and warm and he kissed my cheek. At that moment I realise why he seemed so familiar.

_**Chapter 1 was short.**_

_**Feedback is welcome. Chapter two coming up soon!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter**_** two- Good times going to come.**

**Note: Trigger: Child Abuse and mention of depression and suicide. Maybe some underage drinking at one point well underage for Americans, legal age is different in England and America. I just want to confirm something Peeta is 18 Kantiss is 16.**

_**Stay stay stay I've been loving you for quite some time.**_

_**Peeta Pov:**_

Guilt is all I feel, while I'm at this party she's fighting to stay alive in some hospital ward I wish I was still her friend all those years ago. I know it took her awhile to recognise me, I could barely recognise her. I told my friends back in New York where I moved to all about her, they said I fell hard for her and the truth was I did but I didn't stay when I had the option to because I was scared. Mother had somehow became more loving over the years and my brothers remained supportive, Mom still apologises for making us all move but it doesn't matter we're back now. I still haven't told them she's in the hospital, it would hurt them too, and our families were close all those years ago. I know I need to tell them, they'll want to see her too. I take another sip of my beer and glare at anyone who approaches me; I don't want to talk to anyone. Finn is the one who forced me here.

"Lighten up man. No one's died." Cato says nudging me.

"Is everyone really that clueless? All of you were Katniss's friend while I was gone and none of you are asking where she is?" I snap.

"We've been trying for weeks to get to her but she doesn't answer her phone or answer our texts. We're all trying we just need to forget for now. Cloves going crazy panicking, no one's at her house its killing us all."

"Has that been news coverage of it?"

"What?"

"News coverage?"

"Why would she be on the news?"

"She was in a crash Cato." I whisper this quietly and I see his eyes glaze over.

"I'm getting Clove; she was her best friend after all." As he turns away I don't miss the tear that rolls down his cheek.

A few minutes later he returns to my side with a small girl who I know straight away is Clove.

"What time is it?" She asks.

"Only six." Cato says.

"I want to go see her." She says.

"Are you sure the sights pretty scary."

She nods and soon we found ourselves at the hospital, the woman at the desk informs us she's off the ward and taken back to intensive care but as we are close friends she shows us the way. Outside the room I see and Haymitch standing outside looking tired.

" I understand if we can't be are we aloud to see her?"

"Of course, it may help to see her friends."

Clove nods and we all walk in and see Katniss eyes closed tube in her mouth and some going into her nose and wires leading into her body, a machine at her bedside with her iv beeps making that the only sound inside the room. Clove and Cato rush to her side and each take a hold of her hand, I see Clove trace the scars on her hands.

"I'm sorry we never came sooner. We're so sorry."

I feel Katniss's eyes flutter open and Clove gasps.

"Katniss." She whispers.

I see Katniss's tighten her grip on both of their hands and I see tears go down there cheeks. A doctor comes in and murmurs some words to Katniss, she nods and soon his injecting her and pulling a curtain so we can't see her. After a few minutes more doctors come in and help him. I see him leave and he smiles at us.

"She should awake in a few minutes."

Clove rushes over to her while Cato hangs back his head is lowered and I see his face is pale. I always wondered why Cato cared so much for her but he could never bring myself to ask him while I lived here. All I knew so far was he was there for her while I was gone.

"You may think she had an easy time while you were gone but she was breaking Peeta, she was like this: unwilling to live." I see a tear trickle down his face and I face him.

"How can you tell she doesn't want to live?" I ask.

"She has the same look in her eyes." Tears fall freely down his cheeks now.

Peeta looks at the girl who is now awake on the bed talking in a rough voice to Clove; Cloves smiling but Katniss just looks in pain. Clove's voice is soft and soothing while she speaks to Katniss and her eyes close occasionally while she holds her hand.

"They said I'm getting ill again, fevers got higher." She coughs and croaks out an apology.

"Don't apologise! It's not your fault some jackass did this to you!" Cato growls walking quickly to her side.

"She's gone Cato, I tried to save her but I failed. Just like I failed Grandpa." A tear goes down her pale cheek and Cato wipes it away and my stomach twists.

"Don't you dare! What he did was not your fault!"

"He said I deserved it, he said because I never did anything for him. He said I failed at being a good human and he started saying I was an evil species that deserves to die. He said the weak only become like me. Maybe it's the whole reason I'm here now, maybe I really am a evil species. Maybe I deserve death."

"Katniss." His voice is quiet and he kisses her hand.

Once again the twisting feeling appears again and I see Clove looking at the two of them smiling. Her head looks up to see me and she sends me warning look, at first I wonder why then I realise I must seem angry and jealous and I am. I'm one who's loved her since I shared my crayons with her and tried to share my cookie with her when it ended up dropping on the floor and I started to stutter and cry and she kissed my cheek saying it was sweet of me to offer. I leave the room and soon I find myself pacing back and forth.

"You realise how stupid you are acting right?" Clove snaps shoving me.

"What?" I growl.

"The girl is on the brink of death and you leave the room because her best friend also known as her step brother kisses her hand and supports her! What have you become, the other Peeta would be in there helping her not getting jealous of her step brother helping her along when she's suicidal! Think about her Peeta! Do you know how much pain she must be in? Do you? Grow up." The whole rant is practically yelled in my face while I stand here head down looking at my shoes. She shoves him one more time and stomps off back to the room and I run. Because I'm a coward. I don't know when the tears started I think it was when I reached one block away from home. I'm so stupid! Cloves right I have became someone else while I've been around. I should be at the hospital right now holding her hand talking to her in a soft voice telling her of the movies they can see when she gets out the hospital but instead I ran because Clove was right. I wasn't her best friend anymore but she was still his. How could I think she would be fine after leaving when he turned fifteen and she was not yet thirteen? He even deleted her from facebook which I regretted immediately. The truth was I was scared; mother had given me time to explain to her that I would be back in the future but instead I pretended to visit her and I just spent time with Finnick. I'm a horrible best friend.

I told my parents about the situation after dinner and they scolded him and told him he was wrong to just leave her. They explained why it was wrong to me, most of the reasons included on what she may have been thinking such as it may have been her fault her moved. The thought broke his heart. His friends mocked him back where he use to live told him he fucked up big time. Deep down I knew they were right and I know I'll always hate how I left her. I also realise Clove called Cato Katniss's step brother. Thinking about it now he figures it out, Cato is now twenty years old and always seemed to be around Katniss's house when I visited. He didn't visit often as and argued often and the tension was always there. Cato must of been someone he only thought to be a friend when in fact he was living with Katniss, I remember the time when I was ten and saw her curled up next to him on her bed, I was thirteen at the time so my teenage brain thought it wasn't normal considering Cato was two years older than him so he was fifteen at the time and Katniss was eleven. I sink down at my desk and put my head in my hands.

_Stupid stupid idiot. _

_**That was a short chapter two but it was three pages long on word and I'm hoping to update often, so would you long long not so often chapters or shortish/longish chapters often? Hope you liked, I'm currently searching for a beta as my writing isn't the best. If anyone is interested please message me, thank you!**_


End file.
